Wintar

I have returned...

2005-10-14T21:49:58Z

I didn't realise how long it had been since I posted. Time flies no matter what you do with it. There was a time when I would have stopped time...
But that was a long time ago.

slswizz @ 2004-09-27T02:52:00

2004-09-27T09:56:32Z

Gee, I just noticed that Shane doesn't even have me down as a friend.
It seems in every corner of my life, I no longer matter.

Well, an update... OR I hope the worst is past...

2004-08-23T14:45:38Z

I've been very, very broke for a while now. Okay, the stage is set. My car got reposessed in the middle of the night last week. Major bummer. I knew it was going to happen, but that doesn't make it easier.
Since a significant portion of my job is running errands for my boss, I told him that I understand if he has to let me go.
To my surprise, he said he had no intention of letting me go, in fact had many new duties for me to take over. Therefore, he continued, what he needed was for me to have a car. Then he wrote me a check for $2,000.00, said I was worth the investment and don't worry about paying him back for the forseeable future. Then told me to take the day off and go jump through whatever hoops were required and get my car back.
Having weathered innumerable hoops, it looks like I may have my car back today.
sometimes, if you try to do the right thing just for the sake of doing it, when you need a miracle, you get it.
I'm living proof. Again.

Is this a downer or what?

2004-08-23T14:30:15Z

img src="http://images.quizilla.com/K/Koshari/1072669569_otTheDeath.jpg" border="0" alt="The Death Card">
You are the Death card. Death is a stage in the
cycle of life. Without death, there would be no
room for new things to grow. When you receive
the Death card in a tarot reading, fear not;
Death is only an indication that transformation
is about to occur. Death allows us all to
evolve by removing that which is no longer
needed. The end of one cycle makes way for a
new one. Old behaviours and patterns which have
tied us down are released. Death cleans house
so that we don't have needless drains on our
energy. In Death's ruthless destruction there
lies compassion. Image from: Danielle Sylvie
Taylor
http://members.limitless.org/~morpheum/gallery.html

Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I am working...

2004-07-06T05:36:29Z

Well, I have a job. It's only part time for now, but may expand in a short while.
So far, so good...

Lonely...

2004-06-16T10:55:33Z

I'm thinking that if I write in here maybe my boys will write or call me...
Nothing good has happened in my life for a long time now.

An Interview!

2004-05-04T20:14:32Z

I have to call back for the details but I have an interview for a project manager job for a construction company that pays $16 an hour. I must get this job! Just got the call - tomorow at 2:30. Must get this job.... Think good things for me, please!

Ah, some things don't change...

2004-05-03T07:51:59Z

Are you damned?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Birthdays...

2004-04-17T07:18:14Z

Happy belated birthday number one son...
I vaguely remember your face...
Wait, it's fading...
Don't suppose you could manage a phone call?

Limbo...

2004-04-11T02:07:53Z

Have not yet found a job and marvel over the fact that I am not panicking... unemployment having run out several weeks ago. things do have a way of working out. (Either I'm on to something there or I remain incredibly naive)
It feels sad that I come here to see how my son is doing, thinking, etc. I felt that we were close in our way, now I feel totally out of touch and no part of his life. Like I said, sadness...
My other son I've seen lately and will again tomorow. Still feel a little important to him, (hope it's not just that proximity makes it easier). children are supposed to grow away from thier parents, I know, but as I was no great shakes as a parent, I thought my children were my friends. Am I hopelessly out of touch? Do I have a clue what I'm talking about? Not sure...
There is an uncomfortable feeling of stationary, ephemeral waiting for something...
Watching the world turn without me once again. wondering if, when the merry-go-round stops, I'm even interested in jumping on again.
Whoever or whatever defines that presence just outside my perception and holds me in this limbo, hurry up!
Patience was never one of my virtues...

Money, or lack there of...

2004-03-22T18:47:17Z

Well, my unemployment runs out this week and I haven't found a job yet. so far I have avoided panick...
I keep telling myself that things have a way of working out.

today I live

2004-02-17T15:12:29Z

So many problems...
fuck it, I'm alive and the weather's okay
Things have a way of working out, don't they?
My time is short - I think I shall live in it.
Join me anyone?

A spot of light...

2004-02-13T01:34:19Z

Curt gave me a diamond necklace for Valentines Day. Not such a big deal except in light of the touch and go, (and I have gone more than once), state of things lately.
I think I have finally been heard, and more importantly, beleived.
Now if I could only whip the rest of my life into shape...
One miracle at a time.

About that time...

2004-02-12T09:23:41Z

I guess it's about time I went and signed up for a temp agency.
Yuck!
I'm too old to be starting over again!

I have returned...

2004-02-07T11:05:24Z

So this would seem to be the best way to communicate with my progeny...
speak to me, children!

slswizz @ 2002-09-07T23:29:00

2002-09-08T06:29:17Z

Haven't had a lot of time for this lately...
My job is very demanding.
My private life is confusing.
The future is a blank.

slswizz @ 2002-08-05T16:36:00

2002-08-05T23:37:31Z

Okay, girls, I want you to read this one VERY carefully.
Then read it again. Yes, I am talking to YOU...

Until You Hear

Has your desolate, disregarded heart, denied and out of touch,
Forgotten the sacred joy of life, forgotten that you are loved?
Has your colorful spirit, fierce and proud, definer of your quest,
Forsaken the prime obligation; to envision, believe, express?
Does the being that is the best of you torment you with dissatisfaction?
No compromise or mercy in its endless demand for action?
In the place on earth, designed for you, no other may exist.
Did you think that you could fade away and your absence not be missed?
Whence came the choice to dishonor life, entrusted to your care,
Created not for sacrifice, given that you might share?
What blasphemy could persuade you that any life was more worthy than yours?
Or cause you to value your journey less than another's more difficult course?
What's right and just, like fairness, is a matter of perception,
The response to the gifts that are yours, perhaps, should be gratitude, not rejection.
Release your burdens of guilt, regret, those wasters of emotion,
The freedom you seek will not be found within your magic potions.
There is no other sky out there in which to test your wings.
Since now might be all the time there is, why waste it on meaningless things?
The courage you seek lies quiet with gentle souls brave enough to care,
And love, the one true possession, still worthless until it's shared.
You'd welcome depression, accept defeat, if only the suffering would cease,
But the pain is Life, demanding you live - You will not be released!
The eternal spark of divinity, center of the soul that is you,
Won't stop proclaiming, until you hear, "To yourself, you must be true!"

-sls

slswizz @ 2002-07-24T00:07:00

2002-07-24T07:07:56Z

Finally took the time and effort to go visit my mother on Sunday. We actually had a very nice time. Was very glad I did. Then stole Jade away from work today and took her over to see her grandmother. Had a nice time again and I know it meant so much to my mother.
These things are so important for I sense there is little time left...
Love while you can, my friends.

slswizz @ 2002-07-15T21:18:00

2002-07-16T04:18:10Z

I just love these stupid tests! They're great!

slswizz @ 2002-07-15T21:16:00

2002-07-16T04:16:49Z

What Natural Disaster are you? Take the quiz!

slswizz @ 2002-07-15T21:14:00

2002-07-16T04:14:27Z

</td>

Visionary, revolutionary, vigilante - these descriptions all fit you well. You are thoroughly disgusted with society and humanity as a whole, and you have several rather diabolical plans to reshape it to fit your designs. You're probably a loner, and most people think you're crazy. That's just because they don't understand, though, and you'll show them someday anyway. Heh heh heh. You are known to become very passionate about many causes, have torrid love affairs, and be seen as a either a demagogue or a hero to the proletariat masses.

Be cool! Take the What Do You Want Out Of Life? Quiz

slswizz @ 2002-06-30T19:22:00

2002-07-01T02:23:43Z

To go against my norm, I must take a moment to write that, at this moment, life is good.
Not great, mind you, but that never lasts, after all. Just good. And that's alright.

slswizz @ 2002-06-30T19:20:00

2002-07-01T02:21:35Z

What's Your Inner Demon?

this quiz was made by Melissa

slswizz @ 2002-06-18T04:29:00

2002-06-18T11:30:35Z

Neglected to write lately as I've been so busy driving myself crazy.
Just have to stop anticipating disapointment. I mean, really, who gives a fuck what
someone else is doing/not doing. I've got to learn to just let it be...
Whatever happens, happens. We hurt, we laugh, but inevitably, we survive.
And just maybe, learn.

slswizz @ 2002-06-06T20:32:00

2002-06-07T03:32:56Z

The day will never come when we are not on speaking terms...
You are my best friend, the most generous, loving, kind, wise person I know.
You are the precious child of my heart.
I know when you tell me to fuck off that you only mean it for a minute...