Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Wintar's LiveJournal:

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Friday, October 14th, 2005
2:47 pm	I have returned... I didn't realise how long it had been since I posted. Time flies no matter what you do with it. There was a time when I would have stopped time... But that was a long time ago. Current Mood: calm (Comment on this)
Monday, September 27th, 2004
2:52 am	Gee, I just noticed that Shane doesn't even have me down as a friend. It seems in every corner of my life, I no longer matter. Current Mood: sad Current Music: I Will Love Again (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, August 23rd, 2004
7:37 am	Well, an update... OR I hope the worst is past... I've been very, very broke for a while now. Okay, the stage is set. My car got reposessed in the middle of the night last week. Major bummer. I knew it was going to happen, but that doesn't make it easier. Since a significant portion of my job is running errands for my boss, I told him that I understand if he has to let me go. To my surprise, he said he had no intention of letting me go, in fact had many new duties for me to take over. Therefore, he continued, what he needed was for me to have a car. Then he wrote me a check for $2,000.00, said I was worth the investment and don't worry about paying him back for the forseeable future. Then told me to take the day off and go jump through whatever hoops were required and get my car back. Having weathered innumerable hoops, it looks like I may have my car back today. sometimes, if you try to do the right thing just for the sake of doing it, when you need a miracle, you get it. I'm living proof. Again. (Comment on this)
7:29 am	Is this a downer or what? img src="http://images.quizilla.com/K/Koshari/1072669569_otTheDeath.jpg" border="0" alt="The Death Card"> You are the Death card. Death is a stage in the cycle of life. Without death, there would be no room for new things to grow. When you receive the Death card in a tarot reading, fear not; Death is only an indication that transformation is about to occur. Death allows us all to evolve by removing that which is no longer needed. The end of one cycle makes way for a new one. Old behaviours and patterns which have tied us down are released. Death cleans house so that we don't have needless drains on our energy. In Death's ruthless destruction there lies compassion. Image from: Danielle Sylvie Taylor http://members.limitless.org/~morpheum/gallery.html Which Tarot Card Are You? brought to you by Quizilla (Comment on this)
Monday, July 5th, 2004
10:34 pm	I am working... Well, I have a job. It's only part time for now, but may expand in a short while. So far, so good... Current Mood: determined (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 16th, 2004
3:53 am	Lonely... I'm thinking that if I write in here maybe my boys will write or call me... Nothing good has happened in my life for a long time now. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 4th, 2004
1:07 pm	An Interview! I have to call back for the details but I have an interview for a project manager job for a construction company that pays $16 an hour. I must get this job! Just got the call - tomorow at 2:30. Must get this job.... Think good things for me, please! Current Mood: determined (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, May 3rd, 2004
12:50 am	Ah, some things don't change... Are you damned? Brought to you by Rum and Monkey Current Mood: restless Current Music: the stuff in my head (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 17th, 2004
12:16 am	Birthdays... Happy belated birthday number one son... I vaguely remember your face... Wait, it's fading... Don't suppose you could manage a phone call? (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 10th, 2004
6:52 pm	Limbo... Have not yet found a job and marvel over the fact that I am not panicking... unemployment having run out several weeks ago. things do have a way of working out. (Either I'm on to something there or I remain incredibly naive) It feels sad that I come here to see how my son is doing, thinking, etc. I felt that we were close in our way, now I feel totally out of touch and no part of his life. Like I said, sadness... My other son I've seen lately and will again tomorow. Still feel a little important to him, (hope it's not just that proximity makes it easier). children are supposed to grow away from thier parents, I know, but as I was no great shakes as a parent, I thought my children were my friends. Am I hopelessly out of touch? Do I have a clue what I'm talking about? Not sure... There is an uncomfortable feeling of stationary, ephemeral waiting for something... Watching the world turn without me once again. wondering if, when the merry-go-round stops, I'm even interested in jumping on again. Whoever or whatever defines that presence just outside my perception and holds me in this limbo, hurry up! Patience was never one of my virtues... Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Stray Cat Strut (Comment on this)
Monday, March 22nd, 2004
10:44 am	Money, or lack there of... Well, my unemployment runs out this week and I haven't found a job yet. so far I have avoided panick... I keep telling myself that things have a way of working out. Current Mood: anxious (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 17th, 2004
7:10 am	today I live So many problems... fuck it, I'm alive and the weather's okay Things have a way of working out, don't they? My time is short - I think I shall live in it. Join me anyone? (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 12th, 2004
5:33 pm	A spot of light... Curt gave me a diamond necklace for Valentines Day. Not such a big deal except in light of the touch and go, (and I have gone more than once), state of things lately. I think I have finally been heard, and more importantly, beleived. Now if I could only whip the rest of my life into shape... One miracle at a time. (Comment on this)
1:22 am	About that time... I guess it's about time I went and signed up for a temp agency. Yuck! I'm too old to be starting over again! (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 7th, 2004
3:02 am	I have returned... So this would seem to be the best way to communicate with my progeny... speak to me, children! Current Mood: curious Current Music: Dido(?) White flag (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 7th, 2002
11:29 pm	Haven't had a lot of time for this lately... My job is very demanding. My private life is confusing. The future is a blank. Current Mood: contemplative (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 5th, 2002
4:36 pm	Okay, girls, I want you to read this one VERY carefully. Then read it again. Yes, I am talking to YOU... Until You Hear Has your desolate, disregarded heart, denied and out of touch, Forgotten the sacred joy of life, forgotten that you are loved? Has your colorful spirit, fierce and proud, definer of your quest, Forsaken the prime obligation; to envision, believe, express? Does the being that is the best of you torment you with dissatisfaction? No compromise or mercy in its endless demand for action? In the place on earth, designed for you, no other may exist. Did you think that you could fade away and your absence not be missed? Whence came the choice to dishonor life, entrusted to your care, Created not for sacrifice, given that you might share? What blasphemy could persuade you that any life was more worthy than yours? Or cause you to value your journey less than another's more difficult course? What's right and just, like fairness, is a matter of perception, The response to the gifts that are yours, perhaps, should be gratitude, not rejection. Release your burdens of guilt, regret, those wasters of emotion, The freedom you seek will not be found within your magic potions. There is no other sky out there in which to test your wings. Since now might be all the time there is, why waste it on meaningless things? The courage you seek lies quiet with gentle souls brave enough to care, And love, the one true possession, still worthless until it's shared. You'd welcome depression, accept defeat, if only the suffering would cease, But the pain is Life, demanding you live - You will not be released! The eternal spark of divinity, center of the soul that is you, Won't stop proclaiming, until you hear, "To yourself, you must be true!" -sls Current Mood: calm (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 24th, 2002
12:07 am	Finally took the time and effort to go visit my mother on Sunday. We actually had a very nice time. Was very glad I did. Then stole Jade away from work today and took her over to see her grandmother. Had a nice time again and I know it meant so much to my mother. These things are so important for I sense there is little time left... Love while you can, my friends. Current Mood: rejuvenated (Comment on this)
Monday, July 15th, 2002
9:18 pm	I just love these stupid tests! They're great! (Comment on this)
9:16 pm	What Natural Disaster are you? Take the quiz! (Comment on this)